Inception 101 Course Now Being Offered!

Guest satire for the website Tired Superheroine!

Read the original post here!

Inception 101 Course Now Being Offered!

The prestigious Hospital Woebegone has launched a widely successful new course for female physicians entitled Inception 101. Inspiration for the course title came from 2010 movie Inception, which features the concept of subconsciously embedding specific thoughts in someone else’s mind. The goal is to make the targeted person believe that the implanted information is their own original idea.

According to Dr. Blakemore, the physician who developed the course, “Inception 101 provides women in male-dominated industries the innovative techniques they need to become recognized for their success. Given the ongoing issues of inequality in medicine we had to become more creative in how we leveled the playing field. Using our patented methods, women are finally getting the recognition, awards, promotions, and financial reimbursement that they deserve.”

While the details of the proprietary method are secret, the basics involve consistent positive reinforcement and messaging about female staff with the goal of having it internalized into their male colleague’s brains. Critics may argue that using inception techniques are not founded in science, but it is difficult to dismiss the effects. Since the course began, the percent of women earning as much as their male colleagues is greater than all nearby hospitals, awards and promotions are now nearly equal between the sexes, and there has been less turnover of female staff.

The change has not been lost on the patients either. Patient satisfaction scores on recent Press Ganey reports have shown their highest customer experience ratings since the course was introduced. Turns out that happy staff translates to happy patients.

Not all employees are pleased with the new course. “It’s brainwashing!” complained Dr. Meathead, a male physician. He mansplained, “They’re pulling this Brave New World type nonsense – playing recordings to us in our sleep and sending subliminal messages through tiny speakers only the male ear can hear!” He dismissed the corrections that this is not at all how the process works, then suddenly yelled, “Oh look! There’s an emergency!” cutting the interview short and briskly walking away.

According to the syllabus, the course teaches women to support their female colleagues by utilizing several specific interventions. This includes repeating what other women have said in meetings or on rounds to emphasize their points, interrupting men who interrupt women to redirect the attention back to the woman initially speaking, teaching ways to address daily microaggressions, as well as a few other patented techniques.

Dr. Blakemore addressed the criticism from her male colleagues stating, “Our goal is to help women be recognized for their hard work and accomplishments. When our white cis male colleagues pointed out that we were being exclusive, we realized that we were – just not to them. We now plan to expand our course to other groups that are traditionally marginalized, including those who are part of the BIPOC and LGBTQA communities.

Other professional organizations are taking notice as well. Nearby law and business schools plan to develop their own versions of the Inception 101 course. When a female law professor expressed concern about potential pushback from the male-dominated administrators, a leaked email from Dr. Blakemore revealed the following assurance: “Don’t worry, you’ll be able to convince them. There was initially a lot of resistance in the hospital too. You know the first place we employed our inception techniques? On our administrators! Trust us, your course will be approved in no time.”