Medicine Teams Switch to Scooters, Rounding Time Halved

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Medicine Teams Switch to Scooters, Rounding Time Halved

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Always at the forefront of innovations in medical training, the internal medicine teams at Hospital Woeisme have begun using electric scooters to travel between patient rooms during rounds. This novel practice has halved the amount of time it typically takes to complete rounding, as the teams now move much faster than before.

Dr. Ryder, the attending who spearheaded the idea, explained, “The hospital is huge, and crossing it to see all the patients on our census takes hours. This is such a time saver.” While speaking with Dr. Ryder, a group of scooters whizzed by, nearly knocking over an elderly patient and her husband. “Hey! Watch where you’re going!” the patient yelled, while flipping them the bird.

Medicine residents and attendings use their hospital ID badges to activate the scooters, which are often found scattered around the hallways and near elevators. This ensures that patients and other staff do not use them. Medical students are often seen running after the medicine teams, as they are not allowed to use them due to insurance issues.

One medicine resident, Dr. Sloe, raved, “It’s been really great, not having to waste time crossing the whole hospital on foot. I have so much time to call extra consults now!” Another resident shared the rumor that a psychiatric patient recently stole a medicine resident’s badge and escaped from the hospital on scooter, however no witnesses could be found to confirm or deny that story.

Not all hospital staff are on board with this change. The biggest opponents to this new initiative are the patient care advocates, who transport the patients around the hospital. Mr. Clean grumbled, “Damn scooters strewn all over the hallways! Gotta weave the patient gurneys between them, makes my transport take all day!” One day, exiting the elevator on the 8th floor of the hospital was impossible due to the pile of scooters that was abandoned by a team just outside the door. For nearly ten hours, the 8th floor could only be accessed via the stairwell. Hospital administration reportedly answered the complaints by releasing a statement regarding the scooters, stating that they support any activity that increases resident productivity.

At the end of the interview with Dr. Ryder he concluded, “Barring the allegedly escaped psych patient and a handful of injuries requiring ED visits, I think it’s going really well. I can’t imagine going back to walking.”


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